8-08-2011 the LAST Letter Home
THIS IS IT!
Well, this is it guys, the last week has finally arrived, which means that today is the day I'll send my last e-mail from the mission field. Whatever words I can put down on this computer screen, it won't be enough to fully express the emotions I am feeling right now, but I'll do my best to get it close. These last 100 weeks have been the most wonderful, life-changing weeks of my entire life. What an adventure it has been.
I believe that any seriously honest missionary would tell you that the two years we spend in prayer and sweat, the two years we sacrifice to the Lord, isn't fun. It's not as if we walk around all day, talk to everyone we see about something that could change their lives for the better and get rejected by almost everyone and because of this lifestyle is so wonderful that we smile and giggle while we do it. It's like being a pioneer. Were the pioneers dead scared at the beginning of the Great Trek of the winter dangers, the hostile indians and brutal almost never-ending desert terrain that they would have to pass through? I can bet you that the wide majority were terrified as they began their journey, and it didn't suddenly get easy 10% 20% or 50% 90% of the way through it. It was difficult and exhausting right until the moment they entered the blessed valleys of Utah. As much as we sugarcoat the huge sacrifices we make to the Lord Jesus Christ to primary kids, I think every member reaches an age when they should discover it's no picnic excursion. It's not delightful. Does that mean we should think worse of the whole "Best Two Years" experience, believe that maybe something is wrong with this ordeal the Church demands of it's young members?
Absolutely absolutely not.
Just as the pioneers reported that in the blackest, stormiest of winter days angels from heaven descended to pull their handcarts till they were rested, I testify that in the worst, most difficult days of the mission experience, angels from heaven have descended to the mission field to make miracles happen. Why they don't come more often I do not know. Why we are expected to carry any cross, however small compared to the one carried by Jesus Christ to Calvary, I do not fully understand. Many nights I have layed in my bed at night tormented with stinging questions... Why does the Lord let things be so difficult to support? Why does so much wickedness and confusion run rampant in the world today? Why is that necessary? If the Lord is so all-powerful and infinitely loving, why is our path so rocky? I have no idea and all the words of the living prophets and the apostles only give me hints of that great why... but, I have experienced enough in these two years, just enough, to know for myself that the Lord's hand is here among the Elders of His Church.
No wonder it is a commandment for us young men to serve a mission. These experiences have not just helped me in some vague manner; in hindsight I recognize that they were absolutely necessary to my eternal salvation. I have walked the hard road, I have opened my mouth to tell all who I could that endless blessings are ready for us if only we choose accept them, I have dealt with trials and obstacles at more times and places than I thought possible and the sum realization of all these experiences is that this was necessary for me. It was what I had to do. I'm proud of myself that I did it, and all the naysayers in the world can't take that from me. What was necessary to do has been finished. These have been the most worthwhile 100 weeks of my life. I can't express all of my gratitude to our Heavenly Father for helping me complete it. It was inspired. These memories and lessons will become the foundation of a new Brendon Elliott Carpenter that I never thought could be me. Thank you Heavenly Father. Eu te agradeco Pai Celestial.
I'm far from perfect, but this'll do.
As I sit here thinking of all my Heavenly Father has done for me and for those who I have aided, I realize that I cannot thank only Him, but also for all those here on Earth who have helped me on this path. I thank God that He put you all in my life, it was exactly enough to support me on this journey. All of your prayers and goodwill that you have sent me from home has kept me going until the end. Truly all of you, my friends and family, have played a huge part in this as well. Thank you for saving my life and giving me a gift I will never be able to repay. *chuckles* You guys are the best!
As much as my relatives and friends have helped, I have to thank personally by name my wonderful fantastic immediate family, the pillar of my happiness. Thank you Dad for the advice and wisdom I have received for these last two years, keeping my focus in the right places. Thank you Mom for the warming love that has kept the cold away and given me endless confidence and power. Thank you Lynsey for the jovial care I know you always have in you that has brought me smiles when they shouldn't have been allowed. Thank you Kaitlin for the sweet hugs I've felt from five thousand miles away on a daily basis. Thank you Connor for being the companion I've never tracted with, that I've never taught with, but the one that has mattered the most.
I've mentioned our Heavenly Father, my family and friends from home, but I need to quickly say a few last words for the people of Ceara Brazil, for this world I've come to know and love. We got onto a rocky start, we had our differences from the beginning, and it wasn't the easiest thing to maintain this relationship we have, but I want you to know I love you. I cherish you. I've wanted your happiness from day one and I'll never stop wanting it and that is the truth. People of Ceara Brazil, people of Juazeiro do Norte, Maracanau, Fortaleza and Caucaia, investigators, members, people that I've baptized, people that I've fought with, the good ones and the bad ones... thanks guys. Thanks for everything you taught me. I won't be the same as I was, you have changed me even though from day one I've always been trying to change you, teach you how to have happier lives. I hope you stick with the small changes I've made in you and that you keep getting better. I hope your families are touched by the Light of Jesus Christ in whatever form and that they can flourish and that your land may prosper. I honestly hope that some day I can return to a happier place. It never is easy, finding happiness, but I hope I've lightened your burdens and guided you a little bit farther down that road. Thanks again for everything, and I hope you don't forget what I tried so hard to do here. I love you.
And that's that. This is it. I'll see you all on the other side.
Adeus e obrigado por todos os peixes!
- Elder Brendon Carpenter
Well, this is it guys, the last week has finally arrived, which means that today is the day I'll send my last e-mail from the mission field. Whatever words I can put down on this computer screen, it won't be enough to fully express the emotions I am feeling right now, but I'll do my best to get it close. These last 100 weeks have been the most wonderful, life-changing weeks of my entire life. What an adventure it has been.
I believe that any seriously honest missionary would tell you that the two years we spend in prayer and sweat, the two years we sacrifice to the Lord, isn't fun. It's not as if we walk around all day, talk to everyone we see about something that could change their lives for the better and get rejected by almost everyone and because of this lifestyle is so wonderful that we smile and giggle while we do it. It's like being a pioneer. Were the pioneers dead scared at the beginning of the Great Trek of the winter dangers, the hostile indians and brutal almost never-ending desert terrain that they would have to pass through? I can bet you that the wide majority were terrified as they began their journey, and it didn't suddenly get easy 10% 20% or 50% 90% of the way through it. It was difficult and exhausting right until the moment they entered the blessed valleys of Utah. As much as we sugarcoat the huge sacrifices we make to the Lord Jesus Christ to primary kids, I think every member reaches an age when they should discover it's no picnic excursion. It's not delightful. Does that mean we should think worse of the whole "Best Two Years" experience, believe that maybe something is wrong with this ordeal the Church demands of it's young members?
Absolutely absolutely not.
Just as the pioneers reported that in the blackest, stormiest of winter days angels from heaven descended to pull their handcarts till they were rested, I testify that in the worst, most difficult days of the mission experience, angels from heaven have descended to the mission field to make miracles happen. Why they don't come more often I do not know. Why we are expected to carry any cross, however small compared to the one carried by Jesus Christ to Calvary, I do not fully understand. Many nights I have layed in my bed at night tormented with stinging questions... Why does the Lord let things be so difficult to support? Why does so much wickedness and confusion run rampant in the world today? Why is that necessary? If the Lord is so all-powerful and infinitely loving, why is our path so rocky? I have no idea and all the words of the living prophets and the apostles only give me hints of that great why... but, I have experienced enough in these two years, just enough, to know for myself that the Lord's hand is here among the Elders of His Church.
No wonder it is a commandment for us young men to serve a mission. These experiences have not just helped me in some vague manner; in hindsight I recognize that they were absolutely necessary to my eternal salvation. I have walked the hard road, I have opened my mouth to tell all who I could that endless blessings are ready for us if only we choose accept them, I have dealt with trials and obstacles at more times and places than I thought possible and the sum realization of all these experiences is that this was necessary for me. It was what I had to do. I'm proud of myself that I did it, and all the naysayers in the world can't take that from me. What was necessary to do has been finished. These have been the most worthwhile 100 weeks of my life. I can't express all of my gratitude to our Heavenly Father for helping me complete it. It was inspired. These memories and lessons will become the foundation of a new Brendon Elliott Carpenter that I never thought could be me. Thank you Heavenly Father. Eu te agradeco Pai Celestial.
I'm far from perfect, but this'll do.
As I sit here thinking of all my Heavenly Father has done for me and for those who I have aided, I realize that I cannot thank only Him, but also for all those here on Earth who have helped me on this path. I thank God that He put you all in my life, it was exactly enough to support me on this journey. All of your prayers and goodwill that you have sent me from home has kept me going until the end. Truly all of you, my friends and family, have played a huge part in this as well. Thank you for saving my life and giving me a gift I will never be able to repay. *chuckles* You guys are the best!
As much as my relatives and friends have helped, I have to thank personally by name my wonderful fantastic immediate family, the pillar of my happiness. Thank you Dad for the advice and wisdom I have received for these last two years, keeping my focus in the right places. Thank you Mom for the warming love that has kept the cold away and given me endless confidence and power. Thank you Lynsey for the jovial care I know you always have in you that has brought me smiles when they shouldn't have been allowed. Thank you Kaitlin for the sweet hugs I've felt from five thousand miles away on a daily basis. Thank you Connor for being the companion I've never tracted with, that I've never taught with, but the one that has mattered the most.
I've mentioned our Heavenly Father, my family and friends from home, but I need to quickly say a few last words for the people of Ceara Brazil, for this world I've come to know and love. We got onto a rocky start, we had our differences from the beginning, and it wasn't the easiest thing to maintain this relationship we have, but I want you to know I love you. I cherish you. I've wanted your happiness from day one and I'll never stop wanting it and that is the truth. People of Ceara Brazil, people of Juazeiro do Norte, Maracanau, Fortaleza and Caucaia, investigators, members, people that I've baptized, people that I've fought with, the good ones and the bad ones... thanks guys. Thanks for everything you taught me. I won't be the same as I was, you have changed me even though from day one I've always been trying to change you, teach you how to have happier lives. I hope you stick with the small changes I've made in you and that you keep getting better. I hope your families are touched by the Light of Jesus Christ in whatever form and that they can flourish and that your land may prosper. I honestly hope that some day I can return to a happier place. It never is easy, finding happiness, but I hope I've lightened your burdens and guided you a little bit farther down that road. Thanks again for everything, and I hope you don't forget what I tried so hard to do here. I love you.
And that's that. This is it. I'll see you all on the other side.
Adeus e obrigado por todos os peixes!
- Elder Brendon Carpenter
8-02-2011 Letter Home
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| The Kings Returns (to Jangurussu) and other adventures... |
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| My future wallpaper - Sand, coconut, scrips and little Cearense street urchins :) |
Sorry I did not get to write yesterday...
Yeah, yeah, P-Day was pretty crazy. I went back to the Fortaleza and Castelo wards in Jangurussu yesterday (will talk more about that in a bit) and when it came time to use the internet, we were really rushed and almost as soon as we got in the LANhouse (I was about getting done reading my e-mails...) the owner came in and told us he was closing up. Lame! We actually kind of got kinda mad because he gave us only a five minute warning (no signs at all telling us when they would be closing, they didn't even tell us when we came in) and like, two minutes went by and they closed the whole system down, deleting the messages we were trying to type up. Oh man on top of all the other wonderful things I'll be having when I get home (family, girlfriend, airconditioning, hot showers, carpet, paved roads) I will also have my own laptop with internet! I won't have to go through so much trouble to get a simple e-mail to the outside world. Yeah, but, I'm here now typing up a fiercely quick e-mail to you guys... the second to last or as the Brazilians would say, the PENULTIMATE (literally "second-to-last").
Let's go against chronological order here and start with yesterday! I went back to my beloved area, Jangurussu, my home in Brazil.
I will tell you, I didn't tell too many people I was coming, and some people had other important business, so sadly to say some people that I'd befriended, some people that I baptized I wasn't able to visit. :(
I feel really sad especially that I didn't get to see either of the bishops, Heverton and Eduardo and Raquelle, some people I would really have liked to see but many members promised me that they would invite them to go to the airport. But I was able to see many of my friends and it was awesome! The wards are doing great, Elder Cusick is still working there would you believe it and he's been keeping the work going great. My "Brazilian parents", Valdir and Jacinta were there and we ate lunch with them, they are doing great and their home has become a little Latter-Day Saint haven. They were really happy to see me and told me that things hadn't been the same since I'd left but they were super happy that I was ending my mission with honor.
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| My Brazilian Parents! Jacinta and Valdir - The saddest people to see me go, bless their hearts :) |
Yep... Jangurussu is kind of known for that, lots of crime... I'm super lucky that I've never seen anything crazy like that happen when I was there. I saw several other members and little punks that I had baptized, it hasn't changed that much. Many of the young adult members I had befriended either left already for missions or were called! Three of my best buds, Jamerson, Winston and Raquelle had already left for missions to Rio de Janeiro, Toronto Canada, and Minas Gerais respectively and I thought it was funny that their parents all reported that they were super exhausted after only a few months. Hahaha, soon the tables will turn, I will be the member and they will be the missionaries, mwahahaha! I am definitely going to send each of them a picture of me eating cookies in my pajamas sitting on the couch just to kid around with them, hehehe.
It was great to be back in Jangurussu, it has changed a bit there, different paint jobs on some of the buildings, some new things being constructed there, life moves on for the people and the neighborhood, but as I finally got on the bus to return to Caucaia, I gave it one last look, knowing that I probably wouldn't see it again for years to come. This is my home in Brazil, a small little wriggly-wraggly of suburban (Ceara-style surburban) streets where I feel I most changed, where I helped the most people, where I've left most of my heart. It was hard to finally let it go. I love Jangurussu and I can't wait to come back in a couple of years to see old friends once more.
One thing I noticed in visiting Maracanau and Jangurussu is that... it's nothing like I ever thought it would be. My whole mission I looked forward to my last transfer where I could visit my areas again and talked about it so much but in both cases I didn't have a triumphant homecoming. Friends I had left behind were still friends, generally happy and continuing with their lives, and everyone was grateful that I passed by one last time but I also think they had moved on, you know, to say that politely. Other Elders had arrived in their lives, doing the things I did, and life went on. That might seem sad but I kind of had a spiritual experience thinking about the phenomenon as I rode my bus back to Caucaia (maybe the heat just got to my head, I don't know...) We sacrifice everything for these people, and we do it for nothing. We literally are the representatives of Jesus Christ, and when people think back on what the missionaries do, I don't think they really think "Oh, Elder Carpenter, now there was a great missionary, he was awesome, he helped me so much" I am starting to see that they think more like "Oh man, that was a good missionary, one of the many great missionaries that passes through here... what a wonderful thing that we always have missionaries to help us live the Gospel of Jesus Christ". Before the mission I always thought that the Elders were like the rockstars of the Church... now I realize that the real rockstar is (and I am putting this forward seriously and reverently) Jesus Christ himself. The credit goes to the Lord, all glory goes to Him. Without Him and His influence, we wouldn't even be here doing the things we do, it's His work, it's His church. I started feeling okay that I didn't get the triumphant return I wanted with lots of hugs and kisses... what happened is how it should've happened... people smile and thank and say goodbye, but what they really remember, where they really give praise, is the influence of the Lord Jesus Christ that came into their lives because of us. I am thankful that He can be there when I leave Ceara for good, that He will always be here to guide the righteous and comfort everyone going through hard times. He is so infinitely more capable of helping than I am.
Alright, finally I'll write a bit about last week. IT WAS... well, anticlimactic, let's be serious here no beating around the bush. We know time is running out for the transfer (and for my mission...) and we were working harder than normal. We taught a lot of okaypleasant people, we taught a few really wowawesomelesson people, but come Sunday morning... rain rain rain, the rain wouldn't stop, this happening after more than an entire week without it. So there was Elder Pereira and I, walking in the rain (why have I still not bought an umbrella!) clapping doors, waking up people to get to church in the rain and it didn't end well let's just put it that way. Out of four missionaries in this city we got only one person to church. I guess that's more to ask for for many countries so I shouldn't be complaining... but, it was pretty humbling, hehe. I guess I shouldn't expect an epic climax at the end of my mission, like I'm going to baptize twenty people or anything. This isn't the movie "The Best Two Years". What climax I'll have is, well, all you guys, there to welcome me back to the Real World. The real climax is me living a wonderful blessed life after the mission. I'm good with that.
I've got to save some of this good prose for my last e-mail home, don't you think? I can't blow it all on this penultimate e-mail can I? I guess I'll steer it to a conclusion right now seeing as I've got limited time anyway.
Man, I love you guys so much, it still isn't sinking in that I am going to see so many of you, friends and family, here in less than two weeks, just like Connor said, I feel like I'll just start another transfer. I am so excited to see you all, but I'm still trying to live it up till the end. I'm taking video and pictures like crazy by the way, I only have a little more time to fill up my mission photo album and montage!! I hope you guys like what I send and don't delete anything (because I don't have hard copies with me!!).
Have a great week! I know I will!
Love,
The King of Jangurussu :)
Here is some photos ... Some don't have subtitles, self-explanatory
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| The family in blue: Familia Romoaldo, my good friends in Caucaia |
Hope you like???-B
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